Resolutions and Reflections | That was then…

I’m well aware that I’m a little late to the new year blog post party but I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to achieve across all areas of my life in the coming year.

For me, 2016 was full on, intense and at times, overwhelming, a total rollercoaster from start to finish. In order to set the best goals for myself to achieve in  2017, I want to reflect on the past 12 months, the highs and the lows, the good, and the bad. I’m splitting this post into two parts, that was then, and, this is now.

I started 2016 with a broken heart. When I say broken, I mean, shattered. It’s difficult to write, (and even more difficult for others to read), but during September 2016 I fell in love, hard, and when all of that came crashing down around me just 5 months later, I had no idea how to pick myself back up. It was one of the worst, most painful experiences of my entire life but it was also one of the most important.screen-shot-2017-01-11-at-20-49-42When you go through something awful, no matter what it is, you have two options. You can shut down completely, push away everyone that you know and love and go into self destruct mode. Or, you can pick yourself up, remind yourself how fabulous you are and what an arsehole the person that hurt you is. No one’s heart deserves to break, especially not over Whatsapp… I did both. I lost a stone in weight, barely slept, skipped work and alienated myself from the people that I needed around me. Then, I tried to be adult about the whole situation, “lets meet up and talk it through”… message read… no response…Fuck It.

And then, I started to be okay again. It was a slow process, I took 1 step forward and 30 back, then 2 steps forward, and then 3. I kept going until backwards just wasn’t an option anymore.

Removing someone toxic from your life can completely change your outlook. I’ve never really liked myself, and it’s still something that I struggle with. I’m a good person, I know that, but I struggle to let myself be happy and give myself the credit that I deserve, but my relationship breakdown was a turning point. I was unhappy at work, I wanted to blog but was told it was stupid, I was unhappy with my body and generally not really feeling myself. Once I focused on doing me, things started looking up. I threw myself into job hunting, started jotting down blog post ideas, hit the gym 4/5 times a week and met the single most amazing human being to ever enter my life! I told you it’s been a rollercoaster!

On the whole, 2016 has been good for me. January was horrific, February was okay and from March onwards has been a whirlwind. It’s crazy how quickly things can change, if you let them.

In March, I went to my best friends mom’s hen do, I pranced about in a lace up body suit with a V down to my belly button. I channeled Beyoncé so hard you’d have thought she wrote Single Ladies just for me. That night I threw Long Island Ice Tea’s up into a Premiere Inn toilet and the day after wore a sweatshirt and jeans to a date. He said ‘see ya later mate’ as I got out of the car and we’ve been inseparable ever since.

Processed with MOLDIVIn the space of 10 months I’ve covered so much of the UK; Liverpool, Brixham, Torquay, Paignton, Borth, Norfolk, London and Reading. I’ve swam in the ocean, visited 2 Greek Islands and seen two of my best friends lives’ change for the better. I’ve welcomed new family members and joined a new family myself, walked out of a job where I was unappreciated and desperately unhappy and now head up a little social media team somewhere new. In November came the cherry on top, Jamie and I signed the contracts for our beautiful new home and we move in next weekend.

2016 has been insane. I’ve never laughed or cried so much, I’ve never experienced so much pain or so much love. It’s been a crazy ride, the kind that you get off feeling sick but before you know it, you’re back in the queue, hoping to make the front row. I’m stronger, more determined and surer than ever that I’m in the right place, at the right time, with the right people around me.

If last year wasn’t your best, who cares? It’s done and you cannot change a thing, but you do have 365 chances to make 2017 a year to remember for all of the right reasons. Sure, there’ll be bumps in the road, mountains to climb and a whole heap of other uneven terrain related clichés to deal with but I’m ready, I just need to find some sensible footwear.



3 thoughts on “Resolutions and Reflections | That was then…”

  1. I’m glad things worked out for you and that you’re happy now I know how hard some break ups can be! good luck moving into your new home, hope you have a great year x

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